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“Stocks Only Go Up” Repeats New Market Participant Rocking Back and Forth In Cold Sweat

“Stocks Only Go Up” repeats Dave McConnel as he sits in the corner of his basement apartment rocking back and forth. The past month has been especially difficult for the new market participant who was assured by the top pizza reviewer in the US that stocks only move in one direction. And that direction is up.

“All I see is red,” notes an emotionally scarred McConnel. “I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.”

McConnel has been investing for approximately 8 months and is up overall which is what makes it more odd that he’s behaving this way. Minor corrections are generally healthy for stocks and should be welcomed after larger moves higher. But you can’t tell him that.

“I’m down over 3% from the top,” sobs McConnel. What kind of cruel god would do this to me. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

We spoke with investment advisor Terry Martin for advice we might relay to McConnel. “You don’t really want or need to be looking at the prices every day. Especially if you’re a long term investor a lot of the time the best thing you can do is nothing. Just close Robinhood and take a walk.”

When we relayed this information to McConnel he continued sobbing and repeatedly asking “When will this end”.