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Tech CEOs Agree, Social Media Not Responsible For Dividing Americans

In a surprising act of solidarity, the CEOs of Twitter, Facebook, and Google inspired a polarized nation by agreeing that social media is not responsible for dividing Americans.

Lawmakers for a key house committee grilled the tech giants in a lengthy zoom call, holding their feet to the fire on issues like bullying, hacking, and misinformation. “A trust deficit has been growing over the past several years and social media is largely responsible,” said Greg Pence, a republican from Indiana. “Not true,” Dorsey, Zuckerberg, and Pichai said in unison, proving that Americans can still come together on important issues.

In addition to standing together on general social media issues, the three CEOs were also able to coexist and be encouraging when it came to individual accusations pertaining to separate companies. When Peter Welch accused Facebook of taking a page out of big Tobacco’s book with their new plans for an under 13 version of Instagram, Jack Dorsey defended him, saying, “that sounds pretty reasonable.” Returning the favor, Zuckerberg explained that Google’s tax aversion controversy was probably overblown.

Senator Amy Klobuchar tried to ask one last question about child pornography, but she was interrupted by Eric Yuan, the CEO of Zoom, who dropped in to congratulate the men on a job well done.