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**TESLA STOCK CRASHES AFTER BEING PUT IN AUTOPILOT

New York, New York – Tesla $TSLA stock crashed today after it was put in autopilot, according to reports. The hopes of all $TSLA shareholders were killed in the crash after the stock accelerated uncontrollably to the downside. It’s unclear if any will recover.

One investor, who was all in on $TSLA, said he was asleep when the stock crashed. “I thought it was safe to just kinda doze off and enjoy the ride,” he said.

“Now I have nothing. Can you give me a ride back to my place?”