Nikola CEO Trevor Milton was indicted this week for defrauding investors. Nikola’s value skyrocketed after Milton had claimed that his firm was a failing video game store.
“I put my life savings in Nikola because I thought they sold Xbox 360 games,” said Frank Mittoli, a victim of Milton’s ruse. “He told us that the company made most of its profits from Super Mario merch, so I thought I was guaranteed huge returns.”
Milton raised millions from retail investors based on these false pretenses. Every trader on the internet wanted to get in on this unicorn, the first of its kind since RadioShack. But in reality, Nikola wasn’t the losing Amazon competitor it claimed to be, it was some upstart electric car company.
“It’s like saying you’re AMC when you’re actually some measly little streaming service,” continued Mittoli, who was in the midst of transferring his portfolio to BlackBerry. “Nikola’s not a surefire investment like RKT.”
At press time, Milton tried to inflate his sentence by claiming he was a Madoff-level white collar criminal.