FREMONT, CA — Fresh off resigning as Executive Chairman of Nikola Motors due to accusations of wide-spread fraud, Trevor Milton has announced a new business that’s part SPAC and part multi-level marketing business.
“Leveraging the capital I have from sales of NKLA shares and my ability to get employees to badger (no pun intended) friends and family as potential investors, this year’s battery day will be one for the ages,” Milton beamed. “We’re buying fucking everything.”
With a slide deck that includes screenshot from the popular subreddit r/wallstreetbets, Milton explained ideas from simple Tesla options to lesser known plays like $VALE and $LAC, both plays on the scorching hot battery materials market.
“I’m so bullish on battery day we just bought shares in the company that provides the Tesla parking lot with security guards for-hire. Because if Tesla wins, everyone wins,” Milton said. “Except, of course that one company I can no longer associate my name with.”
Sitting at the front of what appears to be a boiler-room type sales floor, Milton delivered a poorly executed version of that awesome scene from Wolf of Wall Street.
“Being in the Electric Vehicle space is all about pivoting when the time is right or when you face an existential event. For me that time is now and my hope is that by Wednesday this whole ugly chapter is firmly in the rear-view mirror,” a nervous Milton said while frenetically squeezing a Nikola branded stress ball.