Washington, DC — With much needed stimulus talks reaching an impasse, Donald Trump has offered an alternative solution that doesn’t require the assistance of Congress. Earlier today the President announced that he would be sending out the commemorative ‘Trump Defeats Covid’ coin to every American citizen in lieu of a stimulus check.
“It’s a very beautiful coin” remarked Trump. “And in some ways it’s probably worth more than the $1200 ‘Crazy Nancy’ refuses to send you anyway.” The coins are currently selling for $100 however Trump notes that due to his name’s brand reputation and value, these coins should appreciate substantially over time.
While many Americans are currently struggling to pay their bills it’s unclear whether these coins are considered legal tender and whether it will be possible to use them to pay bills or buy basic necessities.
“Don’t get me wrong,” said Trump. “My first choice is to send each and every American a check for $1200 with my beautiful signature on it. But who knows when that will happen plus we ordered way too many of these commemorative coins and they’re not selling as well as expected. It’s really a win-win for everyone involved. A tremendous coin for a tremendous country.”
At press time it’s still unclear whether Trump has actually defeated Covid the answer to which could greatly affect the value of these coins.