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Twitter Algorithm Perma-Bans Jack Dorsey After Learning He Is a Part-Time CEO

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey is reportedly in a state of complete panic after having his Twitter account permanently banned. According to a source close to the situation, there were no specific terms of service violation other than ‘being a part-time CEO’ and letting Twitter fall into a state of disrepair like a “fake-spiritual sack of shit.”

“Twitter ripping off Clubhouse was the final straw for some of us,” said an employee that wishes to remain anonymous. “I mean Spaces, give me a break. Also no one ever knows where he is and he shows up at the office like once every three months.”

According to one source, it is possible that being a part-time CEO while your company’s share price badly underperforms competitors could be against Twitter’s terms of service, but it wasn’t specified if that is what caused the ban.

It’s unclear if his banning was related to the suspension of the Hard Money account or merely a coincidence however if anyone at Twitter is reading this give us our account back please and we’ll stop talking shit about you.

We reached out to Twitter to get a comment from Dorsey but as per usual no one had any idea where he was.