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**TWITTER BOARD MEMBERS CONSIDERING GOING BACK TO GRAD SCHOOL

According to an anonymous insider, several members of Twitter’s board are considering a return to Graduate School as a “serious option” in what is being referred to as a “post-colonized scenario.”

A source close to the issue confirmed the consensus is clear: “Absolutely no one there is thrilled about you-know-who’s remark threatening to cut off the boards’ salaries.”

One anonymous board member described literally shaking over fears of the company’s “climate” would change to be about “the dangerous far-right idea of Free Speech.”