SAN FRANCISCO — Twitter announced they will add a new badge to tweets that will notify users when a statement is true rather than false in hopes of combatting the high volume of misinformation on the platform, sources within the company confirmed.
“We need some way of informing people when something is false, but we’ve found about 99.99999999% of tweets are just a bunch of lies that nobody in their right mind should be exposed to, so this is easier and cleaner,” explained CEO Parag Agrawal. “The newsfeed would just be so cluttered with misinformation notices it would be unusable… by only marking true tweets there will be literally no clutter at all on anyone’s newsfeed ever.”
At press time, Agrawal’s statement about non-misinformation notifications was marked misinformation, but then that notification was quickly marked with its own misinformation notification until Twitter inevitably just gave up and released an updated statement simply reading, “Trust no one, they’re all liars.”