Today, two hedge fund managers stacked inside a trenchcoat visited the New York Stock Exchange to buy $AMC shares.
“Just a regular Reddit trader looking to take down the 1% buy pumping stock prices far beyond their fundamental value,” said the 10-foot, fedora-wearing behemoth, swaying at the entrance to the stock exchange. “I’ll take 10,000 shares because I would like to YOLO today.”
The managers are hemorrhaging money due to the short squeeze, but they couldn’t be seen contributing to the Reddit market manipulation, so they traded Patagonia vests for neckbeards to ensure their anonymity.
“All my fellow colleagues—I mean retards—at WallStreetBets are going to love this,” said the trader, as a small cough emanated from his alleged belly-button. “Nothing to see here! Just a regular, diamond-handed chimpanzee.”
At press time, the hedge fund managers were getting inside a PlayStation 4 box so they could be involved in a real-life GameStop trade.