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**UBER TO CUT COSTS BY HAVING USERS PROVIDE OWN CARS, DRIVERS

SAN FRANSISCO — Car sharing giant Uber is trying a new strategy to lower costs by having their users supply their own cars and drivers to use the service, following a poor financial performance in the past quarter.

“Paying drivers to provide a service has always been the biggest drain on our resources, it will be a boon to our business if our valuable users simply provide their own transportation,” stated CEO Dara Khosrowshahi. “We certainly would never reimburse for gas or car maintenance or anything, that’s just ridiculous. Drivers are lucky we provide any compensation at all, cutting them out of the equation makes the most fiscal sense. Users will simply give us money, at surge pricing, of course, then drive themselves anywhere they want. I think this is a great business plan!”

While Uber and Lyft look for ways to cut costs, Via has adopted a different approach, opting to just begin robbing their passengers to offset financial issues.