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Uncle That Shorted Turkey Futures Won’t Shup Up About It During Zoom Thanksgiving

2020 has been a challenging year for everyone and while having to do Thanksgiving over Zoom is less than ideal, what is even more annoying is having to hear from your Uncle Lyle that he shorted turkey futures in July and made a killing.

“Everyone knew that more lockdowns were coming it couldn’t have been more obvious,” said Lyle while everyone sadly picked at their different meals from their respective homes. “I knew Thanksgiving would be nowhere near what it normally is so I shorted turkey futures and made a pretty penny.”

Lyle’s nephew and active Robinhooder scoffed at his trade noting, “He basically made a lockdown trade which is all well and good but buying Zoom or Peleton would have made him way more money. That’s the really annoying part he thinks he’s some financial genius even though I’m the one literally eating chicken tenders and no one even gets the reference.”

Upon further investigation by this reporter it appears Uncle Lyle didn’t short ‘turkey futures’ as there is no such thing but rather shorted the Turkish Lira which would explain why he was able to make such a tidy profit.