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Washington Post Announces Eight Part Series on Bald Men Being the Most Attractive

Since The Washington Post was purchased by Jeff Bezos, there have been logical questions regarding potential corruption and bias. The paper is one of the most widely read publications in the world, but this month readers noticed a dubious opinion piece titled “Think Twice Before Changing the Tax Rules to Soak Billionaires.”

Critics wondered whether the article would have been so favorable to the mega-rich under different ownership. The Post was quick to downplay any bias, and today they announced an eight part series titled “Bald Men Are the Most Attractive.”

Martin Baron, the American Journalist famous for his work at The Boston Globe (as told in the Oscar winning film Spotlight,) had worked as editor for The Washington Post from 2012 till February 2021.

In a series of tweets, he announced that he had decided to come out of retirement to oversee the series on bald men. “The Post made it clear that this series was of utmost importance to the paper and general public,” he explained. “We committed the same time and rigorous effort to this as my teams did for the investigation into child abuse in the Catholic church, or the release of political prisoners.”

Part One explores the science around why women find bald men irresistible. “A man with hair is generally seen as weak and feminine,” Baron went on to say. “Bald men, on the other hand, are seen as rich, powerful pioneers. The kind of leaders who take charge on this planet and probably in space too.” The scientific research for the series was provided by Chrome Labs, a company recently absorbed by Amazon.

Washington Post photographer Carol Guzy lent her eye to the series. In Part One, the four time Pulitzer prize winner contributed photos of legendary bald men like Jason Statham, Vladimir Putin, and Jeff Bezos. Hard Times emailed Guzy, inquiring about her inclusion. “I was originally scheduled to fly to Mexico to document the drug war,” she explained, “so I was surprised when I was told to devote the next four months of my life to bald men, but I guess sometimes the most important stories are the ones you wouldn’t expect.”

The next seven parts will explore, in part, why bald men make better CEOs and why people in the future will all be bald. A four hour documentary on Amazon Prime titled “Bald Men are the Most Attractive” is also set to come out to complement the journalism.

When critics asked why the series needed to be on the front page of the paper and the homepage of the Post’s website, Baron explained that bald men had been subject to prejudice for too long. “Democracy dies in darkness,” Baron tweeted, “and so does the truth around balding. Everyone wants to look young and nobody is younger than babies. Babies are usually bald. Even though I have a full head of hair, I’m actually thinking of shaving my head from now on.”