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Weed Stock Forgets to IPO

SAN FRANCISCO — Cannabis company Evergreen was planning to IPO this week but forgot and ended up taking a nap instead, sources confirm.

“I was just super tired on Monday, so I took a little siesta, then I woke up and was like, ‘am I forgetting something?’” said CEO Dennis Callahan. “You ever get one of those? I knew there was something I was supposed to do too, but by the time I remembered, it was already Sunday, so I just decided to forget it entirely.”

Callahan’s senior VP Sandra Leonard could have stepped in to file the paperwork, but revealed she had a similar issue.

“We’d been talking about IPO’ing for a while and just kept forgetting, so we finally put it on the calendar, but I got hungry and forgot to check the calendar,” she stated. “You know how that goes, you go to preheat the oven, then open Seamless, then go out for bagels, then get back and realize you forgot to put the Hot Pockets into the oven just as the Seamless arrives with your pizza, and it’s just so many things to juggle, who has time to check their work’s GCal on a Wednesday at 1pm like that?!”

Financial analysts taking interest in Evergreen have said this will likely not affect their overall valuation.

“Most people expect this type of behavior, so often they get paranoid about going public, like everyone is gonna stare at them or the cops might show up or something,” said JP Morgan chief of operations Pam Carter. “Sometimes you gotta just let these weed companies take a day off, have some water, watch a little TV, then come back later when they feel up to it.”

Callahan later attempted to refile for an IPO but got distracted by a dog park across the street.